My Epic Adventure part 2

Heart Reclamation

We flew back to England the morning after our encounter with the dolphins in Scotland. Once there we picked up a really great rental car called a Vauxhall Insignia (aka Opel). I loved this car. It was fast and had a lot of torque off the line because of the diesel engine and with the 6 speed manual transmission it was great for cruising fast on the freeway.

People drive really fast over there. You just have to watch out for the speed cameras. My only complaint about the car was that it would stall any time you let it idle or bog down in between gears because of the fuel saving engine cut off. Not a very cool option.

I am really spoiled after having driven over in Europe. The style is totally different beyond just the driving on the other side of the road thing in the UK. People actually get out of your way. They move over when you want to pass even on two lane roads. If you happen to pass someone with oncoming traffic the cars just move over to the shoulder. There isn’t this massive freak out like they need to play chicken because someone is in “their lane”. I really miss that about Europe, not only the UK but France and Greece as well.

We stopped at Mirbai’s dad’s apartment but he wasn’t there. A woman that looks after him and cleans the place let us in. He had a lot of the art work on the walls that he has made over the years. They were paintings and mosaics of mostly religious themes. We left the gifts we had brought for him there and drove down the road to the store she said he was at. We found him out in front of it looking at something. He was a short man a bit hunched over and slow moving but with a very sunny disposition. He was very excited to see his daughter but a bit confused when we conversed with him. He seems to have a bit of the beginnings of dementia.

We were successful in talking him into going to a pub other than his favorite. The one we found was a really great place called the Carpenters arms. A very popular spot in the small village we found it in.

The pubs seem to be like the heart of a community in most of the villages in the UK. Places to meet, talk, drink and eat good food. This one was no exception. The food was excellent. I learned a lot about the English and their love for protocols and traditions at this place. There seems to be a very strict protocol in how one eats dinner. The one I noticed right away was the upside down fork thing. They balance food on the back of forks and use the left hand to cut food instead of switching hands like most Americans. This latter technique does make more sense but the balancing food on an upside down fork was hard to get my head around.

Another thing I learned, with a bit of embarrassment, is how you are not to move the plates when done. Usually I will take a plate to move it closer to the end of the table for the waiter. This is actually considered rude and not helpful to do so as in the US.

Also, one should never eat dessert until everyone is done eating. In fact they will not bring it. This is something that confused me as to why the cheese plate wasn’t brought out after I requested it twice. The first realization with how different things are was when I had first tried to order it as an appetizer and they looked at me like I was a madman.

Later, they were baffled by my continued request to have it after dinner before everyone is done eating. Cheese is often considered a desert or palette cleanser before sweets.  They did eventually bring it before Mira’s dad finished. I was told by Mirabai about the tradition at that point. I felt very embarrassed and understood how Americans could be considered so rude by such ignorance. It also explained why her dad kept apologizing for taking so long to eat. It was a very long time but he was very much enjoying his food which we were all happy to see. It did look good, some kind of meat pie with a bunch of lard in the crust.

We dropped dad off at home and headed up to see the place of my birth, Lakenheath Air force base. We were almost detained after I posed for a picture with the main gate in the background. I remember thinking “Oh man this is bad” when the older guy radioed someone asking if he should brief and release or detain?

Thankfully, we were free to go after they looked over our passports, asked some questions and had us delete the photos. Afterwards they even pointed out a spot where we could take a picture. It isn’t as great as the first one. Even the younger of the two soldiers who questioned us commented on how great the first one was. I was really glad he was there as the other guy seemed very intense and one of those people who is like a dog of war just trying to always please people in authority to the point of blind obedience. Something I consider very dangerous.

We were then off to meet Mirabai’s son Cosmo. I was a bit worried by this but when we first met he gave me a big hug and I felt very welcomed and excepted. The drive up was fun but also very scary at parts. There were a lot of single track roads and especially tight ones just before Cosmos village. It was really hard to see beyond the tall hedges. There were also some extremely narrow places along the road were only one car could barely squeeze through.

We had a great stay with Cosmo. The first day we went go kart racing in Milton Keynes. It was a very strange place much like my friend who lived there described it years ago. It seemed to be comprised of these massive bubbles of neighborhoods all a bit isolated from each other even though they were all connected.

It felt as though there wasn’t much sense of community in this place just a bunch of houses and things to do that cost money. Perhaps the lacking of old family owned pubs was the reason for this. It really struck me odd has to how many things there was to do in the area like two go kart tracks, rock climbing, kayaking, mini golf and a plethora of corporate dining establishments. But again, the common theme was all things that cost money. It was like someone’s grand design of pulling people in around an area like a consumptive model business ideas. From a cognitive perspective it was ingenious but felt soulless and without heart. The main intention seemed to me about money and the creation definitely reflected that.

I did some energy work while sitting on the massive mound next to the go-kart track waiting for our turn to race. I saw a bunch of grids and symbols so I brought in some good energy from Hawaii and whatever I felt was needed in that place. Mostly heart, Aloha.

I did really well racing. I finished 4th out of like 15 people and was first out of all the people who didn’t bring their own helmet or racing suit. Cosmo finished just in front of me. Mirabai was really impressed by both of us and seemed very proud. It was a lot of fun and something I really enjoyed. I was also pleased that Mira got to see me do so well. She was a great support during the whole thing; she took pictures and cheered us on as we went by.

There was a man talking to her while we were racing but I never had concern about her loyalty to me. I felt very safe and supported to enjoy myself without worrying about her or our relationship. It is such a beautiful thing to trust and feel so supported. I am truly grateful for her presence in my life. She really is an incredible woman.

That night we watched some stand up movie Mirabai wanted to watch and munched on stuff we picked up at the store. We picked up her daughter Millie the next day at the train station. We met her with coffee we picked up down the street. There of course was a heart there that Mirabai took a picture of as is her practice for her instagram I see love everywhere.

Millie was pretty tired and had a bit of a cold so we just took it easy that day. We wound up mostly just hanging out around the house then went and had a bite to eat and some coffee at a cool little outdoor café that was part of a farm in Cosmos tiny village. It was the place we had been getting our coffee each morning.

We dropped Millie back off at the train station. She gave me a hug and told me to take care of her mom. It felt a bit like both a warning and a blessing. She and Cosmo seemed very different. She is very into the world of finance, making money and a name for her-self, uninterested in Cosmos awareness of the various conspiracy knowledge which I am also in agreement with. It seems they may have had many discussions about it and she may even believe it too at some level but wants to play the game for a bit.

Hopefully, she doesn’t get too burned out or used up by the system. She seems to be doing very well in it. She later came to visit us in Hawaii for Mirabai’s birthday. They went Swimming with dolphins and we all went out to the lava flow and watched the sun set on the top of Mauna Kea. We had a blast and both of us missed her a great deal after she left.

What seemed like a disaster was actually a blessing when while driving the Vauxhall I miss calculated how close I was to the curb and scratched the wheel up pretty bad. Luckily Cosmo works at a Maserati restoration shop so we were able to go there to get some sand paper and metal polish. It was actually really great that I did curb the wheel because the shop was a great highlight for the trip. It was in a small little village near Cosmos. A very unassuming building but inside was literally millions of dollars or pounds worth of automobiles. Not only the cars that were being worked on like one worth over 2 million pounds but a whole little museum filled with old motorcycles and cars fully restored.

Apparently, this Maserati shop is very famous and well respected in the automotive world. I was able to fix the wheel which turned out looking very good. We turned the car in to the rental company without any trouble. Mirabai was happy about that and impressed that I was able to fix it. I myself was very relieved and proud to be able to draw upon some of my previous experience and skill in working with cars.

Early the next morning we were off to Stansted airport to fly to Marseille with the flight leaving at 6:45am. We missed our flight and had to wait till that afternoon to catch the next one. Luckily we were flying business class so we didn’t have to pay any extra. I was all ready to just hang out at the airport, having found a place where we could lay out on a bunch of seats. Mirabai was really tired and wanted a proper place to sleep so she booked a really nice hotel close by and we got some much needed rest.

On the flight over to France I spent a lot of the time writing my personal essay for the Argosy Marriage and Family therapy master’s degree scholarship which I wound up winning first place for and am now enrolled in the program.

Just before we landed in France I was struck by the beauty of the land and how familiar it felt. I was filled with emotion and my eyes began to water. I felt my heart come back to me. I felt so much I was speechless. I was holding back from fully letting go in that moment. There was so much emotion and tremendous joy in reconnecting with what was left there so long ago.

Mirabai noticed how moved I was and checked in on me asking if I was ok? All I could do was node yes with a big smile on my face. I reclaimed my heart. I had left it there a couple lifetimes ago during WW1.

This was from a past life memory I was very familiar with. A salient lifetime shown to me many years prior because of the tremendous significance it has played in my journey here. It was a powerful shift for me not only in that life but for all the thousands of others that preceded it. It was a final undeniable realization that I was killing my own brothers.

I was fighting people who were just like me over some bullshit because certain men couldn’t get along. I was a pawn in one of the most destructive games played out on this planet.

I remember in that life laying on my back and just letting go. Apparently, I decided to leave a big piece of my heart there on that land in France. The specific aspect of losing heart was not known or clear to me until that moment when returning to France. This of course is all an energetic.

It seems I went a bit too far in that lifetime. It was as if I no longer wanted to feel that level of love and connection to things that through manipulation impassioned me to go out to fight and kill for. The love of family and wanting to protect them from “evil”, the love of my country wanting to keep our righteous way of life alive, and the love of my fellow soldiers and wanting to keep them safe from the “enemy”.

It was all bull shit. We were fighting and dying horribly over a piece of muddy land that was often just walked away from the next day. I was creating suffering and I had done it for thousands of lifetimes. This is the one where I decided I was done playing the game and would no longer participate with it. I felt utterly betrayed.

I reclaimed what was mine simply from this awareness and being back in this beautiful country. With this integration I was able to move towards more wholeness and given the message of, “I see through the game and love the players”.

Forgiving them was not fully possible until this lifetime. Whom I speak of are those men who rally others to a cause that destroys that which is beautiful and vulnerable in the world. I see how I was them for many lifetimes. I see how I was misled by forces that overwhelm men of ego and desire in order to try and separate us all from harmony.

So that is a big part of my epic adventure. There is more I could share like the extremely uncomfortable experience of being in the Istanbul airport 24 hours before an attempted coup but I don’t really feel like writing about that.

We did go to Greece, a place where my soul longs to be and feels at peace. Perhaps I will write about that someday but for now I will end it here and thank all those that have read this far.

May you reclaim all parts of self and enjoy life,



Past/Parallel Life Session

I have had a number of awareness’s of other lives through dream state and other means which I might share later but this combination of lives I am about to describe were presented in a way that was very significant for me. So I would like to start with these particular experiential realizations of past life memory. This session was facilitated by one of the students at the Southwest Institute of the Healing Arts (SWIHA) probably about 6 years ago.

The session begins with going into a meditative state and setting the intention to be shown any and all lifetimes relating to that which is relevant to this current life (or something like that). She does the brief guided meditation thing, having me visualize walking up a flight of stairs and through a door. As I walk through the door I am told to look at my feet and describe what kind of shoes I am wearing. I was expecting this as I had taken the 2 day “past life regression” course a couple weeks prior, but what I saw freaked me out a little. Not only because it was so weird but because I was going to have to explain it to this woman who, I was afraid, would probably think I’m crazy.

We all know that we Starseeds take weird to a whole new level. So I just say it, “They are hooves like a goat” She seems unfazed, although my eyes are closed so I couldn’t be certain. I realize that this body, I am both seeing and feeling is like a mix of a human, a goat or ox, and a head of a lion or tiger.

There is so much pain “it is hard to stand” I tell her. This pain is of embarrassment and self disgust of what I am. I am some kind of genetic hybrid but it is very extreme like some kind of sick experiment or someone not knowing what they are doing created this body through genetic manipulation. I am aware there are others like me in this lifetime, but my case is more extreme at least from my point of view as this being.

Those around me in this life are caring and compassionate; there is an understanding and healing going on with beings like myself during this time. I remember reading about this in Edgar Casey’s On Atlantis book many years prior, but never thought I was one of them I even say this to the woman during the session.

There is also tremendous anger in this life at those who have done this to me. Anger at the controllers, those men (?) that have abused their power. This anger at those who manipulate others is the main theme of all the lives that will be shown to me during this session.

I have to acknowledge the possibility that perhaps this was all just an elaborate astral movie. Something used to manipulate me to have compassion for and forgive those who abuse others, which worked to a certain extent, but I feel it was more about releasing the rage I have carried for countless lifetimes. This rage will not serve me in this one. A little anger is fine but rage is a whole other animal. Ultimately, I can forgive and understand, but that doesn’t mean I am going to ignore what is being done here on this planet.

At the end of this hybrid life, I am shown the beauty and magnificence I truly was, but due to my own negatively perceived state I couldn’t or wouldn’t see it until passing. I could really feel how after one dies there is so much more of an expanded perception allowing release and the ability to heal very quickly. It is like pulling away from something so intensely focused on that there is this feeling of, “Wow. I really got caught up in that. The bigger picture is clearer.This realization of clarity at passing gives me comfort when I see so many people around me having difficulty.

In telling this story I also wonder if any of this could be related to what has been called the false umbilicus structure which is designed to keep souls trapped on this planet, but that is largely and intellectual awareness for me. I have not directly been shown (experienced) anything around that information.

On a side note, I will add that I experienced something similar called a false white light during my early years of meditation. This was a white light and a deep feeling of joy one could attain through prolonged meditation. The problem was this source of joy was largely outside of me. I did not realize this at the time, but information came to me which allowed me to see its true nature and move beyond that level. This letting go was bitter sweet. It was like having a drug you really like, but getting to the point where the full realization hits that it must be given up to be healthy and whole. After letting go, even higher levels are possible. To me, this false white light felt really good and energizing, but was actually almost like a hypnotic astral bliss state of euphoria. When I moved beyond that level I could then feel how vampiric that felt and how it was designed to calm and lull people into this almost spiritual zombie state. I am sure many of you know what I am talking about with this. It is often seen with people who meditate a lot and are all about love and light, but freak out or refuse to acknowledge anything of a darker nature.

Getting back to the session…The next life I am shown is of me as a young boy playing in ancient Greece. I am not sure of the time period or simply do not recall it now. It was probably around 300 bc or so just to give you a feel of the way of life then. It was when the world was still filled with magic and mystery or at least from my perspective as a young boy. The beauty of the area is unbelievable. It calls to me even to this day. I dream of going there someday to walk in the woods and swim in the Mediterranean.

So in this Greek lifetime, I see myself playing on a hill overlooking the Mediterranean and the village I live in below. When I return home I am hit with tremendous guilt for I live in what seems to be this great palace. I am ashamed to see so many people in the village and specifically the market just outside the palace walls suffering. They are all working so hard, but many are hungry and sick.

I get beyond the walls where everything is clean and there is so much abundance. The palace is huge with marble and all this luxury. I do not see much more of this life, but I deeply felt at death and was shown that during this whole life I felt guilty for what I had. I never fully enjoyed that wonderful life because of it. It was a feeling of how could I be happy when so many are suffering. The awareness of this past life helped me relate to a component of what some people must feel who have extreme amounts of money.

There is another aspect to the guilt of having material abundance. I didn’t feel this specifically with this life in Greece but I got the impression that this tremendous guilt can create disgust and detachment from people in poverty. It is a coping mechanism allowing a person to deal with their situation albeit in a very unhealthy way. This is definitely an opening for negative entities and thoughts to run rampant. It is like arrogance is created from fear or inability to try and change the situation. So there is an embracing of the whole belief system of less than better than that is easily seen all around us. (There was a lifetime I experienced in dream state that showed how I lived this way in Spain a couple hundred years ago. My nose in the air and rude to everyone that made me uncomfortable)

I know from people I have personally met that there is a lot of pressure to keep things the way they are no matter what time period we find ourselves in. It is my hope that the space will be created for the brave and compassionate with the financial means to come forward and change this, to risk the ridicule and threats in order to assist those who need a real work situation where reciprocity and respect is the norm. Not to merely give wealth away but to actively create situations that will create wealth and prosperity for all parties involved. This is not socialism or a handout this is co creation without the mental disease of extreme lack identified as greed.

It is an externalized inner lack that creates hunter type systems that kill the cow for the milk rather than having patience and growing. I feel capitalism can still work if corruption and manipulation are taken out of the equation or at least lessened.

This lifetime in Greece was showing me how to more easily appreciate what I have without feeling guilty knowing that this benefits no one. Guilt is said to be the biggest hindrance to spiritual advancement which I am inclined to agree with.

The next lifetime I see I am wearing boots. I am in what feels like France during WW1. This is during the brutal and bloody trench warfare. Where hundreds of men died fighting to win a field that would often be abandoned the next day. This was the last time I was in the military not counting ROTC (different lifetime as well but I am not so sure about this one since it was told to me by a psychic).

I feel that I have had many many lives fighting in battles throughout history and this was the pinnacle one where I finally realized that I was fighting and killing for nothing. This is when I saw the truth of what I was perpetuating through my actions. I was killing my own brothers. I felt such betrayal and sadness at this. I don’t know if I died in that pivotal moment of realization which was shown to me as lying on my back in the mud looking up at the sky, but it felt like I died inside for the rest of that life however long it was.

I understand that there is much distortion involved in the whole past life regression thing but my experience was one of empowerment and seeing themes that would and have benefited me by acknowledging them in this lifetime. It helped me to understand how people get locked into certain realities and how to forgive those who through their ignorance perpetuate pain and suffering on this planet.

I truly feel the hybrid life was a reality but it occurred long ago or perhaps in the future since time is simply a construct and so anything is possible. This lifetime may also have been shown as an archetype of one who lived by animal instincts but either way whatever is “true” it doesn’t really matter as it has helped to empower and broaden my perception.

Even whether or not any of these lives were real or me viewing a collective unconscious pattern it still changed how I interact with the world and gave me the deep feeling aspect of accepting others or at the very least an understanding. It also gave me the inner knowing from experience of what lies beyond death for I felt those between life moments and how much clarity and expansion was possible, how clearly things became as if flying high above something that could only partly be seen before. Hopefully, people who read this will get that and not focus on how fantastical it all might seem.

I try not to over identify with these lifetimes or even archetypes like the warrior or the adventurer. I have to be willing to let go of terms like Polarity integrator, Templator, Gridworker, Healer, Indigo 3 contract holder and of course Starseed that I really resonate with and feel to be true for me.

To become locked/fixated into any label or reality no matter how empowering it feels is to be trapped. I believe we all play these roles to a certain extent whether we are aware of it at the time or not. We are always moving forward and evolving in our consciousness. When something is labeled it can become restricted and growth cannot take place. I welcome all aspects of self and release the need to identify though I do embrace that which empowers me in the moment. Often this is the warrior.

There was one other lifetime I was shown at the end of this session which was more of a possible outcome of this current life I am in. The reward was that I was back in Greece on a ship in the Mediterranean surrounded by those I love. It was a feeling of completion and what I could attain if I could let go of my hatred for those who abuse their power. Those controllers who I myself have been in other lifetimes until I found my way back. Forgiving them knowing that my rage and resentment would turn me into the very thing I despise.

My heroic probability in this current life is also contingent on controlling instinctual desires and impulses. Knowing, that I may be an animal, but I do not have to act like one. To overcome all the fear that holds me back from being who I truly am and speaking my truth when called to do so.

I share this with you all as it has had a profound effect on who I am today and how I view the world. This was an experience that might have been 5d type manipulation, but I doubt it. I highly value what I have gained from it. I felt such powerful emotion and wisdom beyond what I could possibly hope to explain here with words. The between lives parts were a clear inner knowing that wasn’t seen while in the body, like what happens when we are free from, what to me feels like, the oppressive 3d ego/mind distortions or the parasites in that structure. It is amazing how so much of the negative self-talk and limited perspective judgments fall away during death of the body.

For me, the key aspect in being balanced with this experience is that I don’t take it as an absolute truth. It was very powerful and I highly value these experiential perspectives being added to my belief system, but I am willing to let it all go. By letting go I can be flexible so as not to break when I should bend. I do not need to fight to defend this information or try to prove the truth of it. It is my truth.

May you always know your truth,