Bullying Energy in the Body

I recently asked for assistance in addressing my fear of intimacy, more specifically, romantic intimacy. I still seem to have a great deal of worry about what will happen in those situations. This goes beyond just mental stress and negative thoughts. It is like a feeling of being trapped or controlled. The paradox is that I often feel even more alone when I am with someone.

In my past I had unconsciously sabotaged relationships. I always kept people at a certain distance especially if it was a romantic one. The few rare cases when I didn’t freak out were when I knew that particular woman I was with wasn’t going to be around for very long. In those cases in true masochistic form I would surrender and be totally open and get crushed. I of course didn’t recognize this pattern for quite some time.

I have come a long way with my emotionally isolating behavior but yet the fear still remains. The strongest aspect of this fear is that I will repeat a pattern of being distant or emotionally reactive to another so as to create space. I can control a lot of it but the energy of the situations often feels overpowering.

In this session or work I was taken back to my childhood. I am 5 years old and there is a boy lying on top of me. It is dark, I am scared and feeling totally powerless. I can’t move at all I am being crushed. I feel like I am dying. Revisiting it I can feel how terrifying it was and how empty I felt. My inner light felt snuffed out. I didn’t remember any of this until this moment.

The boy is telling me I am nothing over and over again or at least that is the core belief that has been implanted in me from the experience. He laughs and I feel dead.

As the man I am today I symbolically pull the bully off of my child self and lift him up. I explain what happened to him and how that won’t happen again. I reassure him and give him what he needs as I totally breakdown crying while saying it. I give him and myself a new message. I clear it from my body and most importantly I remove the energy from my current station of identity. I removed the dark cloak of “you are nothing” from my physical and energetic bodies. With continued work in daily life it will no longer be a location of disempowerment or food for that which feeds on such low negative energy.

I see now how I had carried this traumatic experience in my body my whole life without even knowing. It was a worry and deep fear that at any moment someone was going to come along and take everything from me. They would make me feel like nothing, that I have no power to do anything and that I will die.

I now see it more clearly as a dark heavy energy that kept me from wanting to stand out, to own my gifts and abilities but most of all show my joy for life. I had often felt I had to tone everything down so I wouldn’t make someone jealous or upset. This is what I feel happened with the boy that smothered me and made me feel totally helpless. A feeling I never wanted again so I kept myself small. The interesting thing is that boy, whoever he was, probably has no idea how much that had impacted me. To him I was probably just some kid that annoyed him and so he allowed impulses to direct his behavior.

Scratching at a trauma memory is an opportunity to release the stuck energy in the body and give certain parts of self a different perspective from a place of a more mature awareness.  It is often childhood memories of experiences that can now be viewed differently. In the best case scenario, these situations can be healed from a place of empathy for the person or persons involved.

The key to a successful integration is to have an empowered stance to embody when the pattern reappears. Through the power of conscious awareness (Consciousness, Intent, Focus, Now Moment Presence) the traumatic pattern can be overridden once the energy in the body is released.

In that moment of re-experiencing trauma anything can be implanted in a person. They are there, it is alive and so taking it past that to a place of comfort and empowerment then anchoring that in with a tool such as an affirmation, visualization, feeling in the body, or specific movement will draw that more empowered energy in when the old trigger sets in.

I share these things as a Being who is willing to go to those dark spaces within so as to be better and has helped others do the same. I am grateful to all that assist me in that goal. You know who you are!

I feel I now have a “why” for when I start to freak out in relationships. Even better than the “why” I now have a tool to use in the form of an affirmation. If I remember to be conscious in those moments, it can pull me out of that undesired pattern. “I am safe with my Heart”

May you always feel safe with your Heart,

Jason

 

New Energy Coming Online

I let go of a lot of the negative harmful energy I was carrying since my last post in fact a huge part of it. An energy that I labeled as beast for the final purge, something I carried for a very long time. It was protecting me in a sense.

I was given the message of love being its intention. The reason to let it go was that the form of love it expressed in protecting me was no longer of service in my life. It was holding me back. I let it go and thanked it. I had assistance with this by supportive individuals in my life that could help create an environment where this could be facilitated.

The strange thing that happened after the release and letting go was that another energy came in immediately afterward. It was like this very advanced type aspect of myself. Something that seems very foreign to this world and not something I have seen fully manifested very often. It is like this very calm and capable emissary type being who is very poised and strong yet unassuming. This part scares me in a way for I know how powerful this type of energy is and I feel it has an effect or can trigger a great many people. If I work to embody it I must fully release fear.

The fearful parts I make up around what may happen if I embody this are internal dialogs of others like, “this guy thinks he is better than me” or “this person acts really weird. Why are they not reacting to all this drama?”

The humble truth is it is like this Christ/Kryst type consciousness that is very rarely seen manifested for long periods of time but cannot be ignored when it does. It is a force that is absolutely present and engaged with its environment but at the same time in total control of its self. It does not get sucked into drama by guilt, frustration or a sense of needing to belong. It stands strong and centered even in the face of attack which is defused because of its calm demeanor and ability to shift the very field of energy around a person/environment. This particular version presented to me is also in total control over body movements needed for defense like a Tai Chi master that simply points out the futility of even trying to hit him through extremely cultivated internal energy, balance and relaxation.

I refer to this energy or archetypal energy form as “it” for it transcends gender. It doesn’t even feel a part of this planet but like a visiting energy or something that is returning from long ago and will solidify this new paradigm.

Ultimately, it is about those that have the volition to allow their full human potential to come online and shine for all to see without fear or apology. Humans expressing their unique gifts from a place of balanced power and connection.

I feel this has been happening for a great many people for some time now. And it is important that I point out that it is an energy available not something I am saying I am right now. My hope is that by embracing more of this energy on a daily basis, remembering what it felt like and how it looked, that I will manifest this as the core of who I am in action and deed in the future. With any luck, seeing this mastery achieved in this lifetime.

May you always know this energy within and around you,

Jason

Dropping In and Balancing Energy

I would like to share a little of how I find balance with some very strong emotions that come up inside of me. How when I take the time and create the space within I can use that specific feeling to find balance not only internally but also with the external environment I am in.

Last week I was hit with an immense feeling of guilt. I felt it so strong and with such persistence that it occupied the bulk of my attention. It was really eating away at me. I felt myself starting to slip into self-abuse and negative thinking patterns but luckily stopped short of all that insanity.

Despite catching the pattern I still felt like I had did something wrong and that something horrible happened or will happen as a result of what I did. (Actually a very common feeling for me as a child).

I for the life of me couldn’t figure out what it was. I replayed the day’s events in my head and came up with a couple of possible things but upon further reflection they really weren’t anything more than judgments based on thinking that I did something wrong. Stuff like burning my clutch a little in my car while leaving an intersection or not taking the time to stop for someone who was nearing a crosswalk.

To get to the root of this very strong persistent feeling I decided to do some deeper work on it rather than just thinking. I sat down to meditate with the intention to clear all guilt, shame and blame.

I just sat there breathing connecting to my higher self, feeling and seeing that energy flowing inside me. I ran a couple affirmations to increase this connection. I calmed my mind and found my neutral center, that safe place inside. Casting out that which didn’t serve me.

I then cleared the energy in my environment of any shame, blame or guilt. I was at someone’s house who I often see battle with this behavior. I will have to ask his permission but was able to do it in that moment with seeing he would say yes when I ask him later (which he did). I was able to clear the energy by finding its polar opposite and bringing a specific flavor of energy in to create a potential balance between the two.

For me to harmonize and clear this environment, I just tap into the opposite energy of Guilt, Shame and Blame, in this case, Love, Acceptance, and Honor. While deeply feeling the emotions that those feelings bring up I can radiate that out into the environment thereby bringing in energy to a space that is weighted too far in the other direction.

This intentional direct manifestation and transmutation of energy isn’t advisable to do to others unless one has permission. Simply holding space can often create the same effect with people or environments where permission to do energy work may not be possible or granted by the owner of the space. With permission more can be done in the environment or with an individual.

After all this clearing/balancing of energy I was able to limit the big factors that may be interfering with my clarity in tapping into my own emotions. When I dropped back in on the guilty feeling inside what came to me was the name and image of a man I know.

The data on this was that I had tried calling him a few days prior on what I thought was his cell phone but got his wife instead at their home. When this happened I was a bit hurried and not really present. My mind was still locked on the idea that this was his cell phone and he must have left it at home. She even said something about how horrible he is about answering his cell phone and that I should talk with him about it which I jokingly agreed.

This all came back to me while meditating so I decided to call and tell him about my miscommunication with his wife. I was concerned that to not tell him may possibly drive a wedge between them since I was agreeing with her about something that never happened but might support some judgment she has about him. Plus, it could come back to me that I was making up stories or not being authentic with my communication.

This may never have been the outcome but I found that when I did call and explain the situation that it brought us closer together.

I am personally amazed by this whole process which has happened for me many other times in the past. I can tap into my subconscious, or my higher self, or some aspect of me that will get me this information and a whole lot more. Perhaps it is a soul aspect since the “feeling” was so strong.

As a side, I will share that there is a deep sadness that comes to me from time to time that I can never fully tap the root cause of. Its level and intensity varies. This deep seemly endless spiral into despair often takes every tool in my possession to pull out of. Sometimes even this doesn’t work and I just trust that the next day I will feel better and it gets me through. And it is always better.

I could only imagine what it would be like if I had learned all this right from childhood when the connections were still fresh. How much easier my life might have been if I was taught emotional intelligence, awareness of internal and external energy and how these subtle vibrations can affect someone like me.

For me it is all about having the ability to navigate and understand internal states. Knowing that these internal states don’t have to define me but instead guide me.

May you always know the intelligence that lives in calm centered balance,
Jason

Getting Triggered

I seem to have been getting triggered a lot lately. Luckily, I have come to learn that these things are opportunities for self-improvement and to practice being present. The biggest reminder of all is that if someone really pisses me off or upsets me it is because they are mirroring something I dislike about myself. This is definitely the case with a couple of recent extremely brief interactions.

The first one happened while I was driving down the road last week. A man in another car was making a left turn in front of me at the stop sign. It was very brief but the way he looked at me and the energy I felt from him really pissed a part of me off.

On the surface there was no reason for me to be upset he just looked and smiled. But for me it was the lack of acknowledgement even though he looked right at me. It was a feeling of “You are not worth my time and I am in my own little happy world”.

My anger further increased while I was stuck behind him and his nonchalant driving under the speed limit. I was strongly impulsed to blast past him in anger but I knew I was triggered and so I just kept driving normally. Besides, he wasn’t really driving all that slow especially for how laid back people can be on the island but as I was stuck behind him I could feel my anger still growing.

I was finally able to relax while focused on my breath and letting all the angry thoughts go. These thoughts created quite a story like, “Look at this guy all happy and not even paying attention to anything just living in his own little reality of perfection”. I caught these thoughts and knew this wasn’t really true but it is what was running through my head and had to be released.

Letting go is my needed discipline to be in control of myself and my actions. To make the choice in every moment of what I am doing with what comes up inside of me. These thoughts may be in my head but they do not need to be mine and they certainly don’t need to be indulged creating emotion (energy) or manifested into an action (force).

The second trigger happened later that same day. I am waiting for a parking spot only to have it taken by some guy that drives in the wrong way and totally snakes it from me. I remember even looking at the guy and saying “You totally snaked me” as I drove by choosing to just leave the situation. I let the impulse and thoughts overwhelm me briefly that time before I could catch it. I felt like I handled well as I was pretty hot and wanted to take it much further but I realized later I still could have handled it better.

What these two incidents have in common is a pattern I have that I was not fully aware of until recently. It is one of not fully acknowledging people because I am uncomfortable. The guy that took my spot didn’t see me waiting for it and I could have simply drove up and said something in a calm way. Because this is Hawaii there is a good chance he might have apologized and moved (It was the last spot in the loading zone for home depot and I was buying a bunch of wood). Instead I went into a victim type pattern and never allowed time for a more authentic interaction to occur. I simply went right into I was wronged and have a right to be pissed off and get upset before even making sure this guy knew I was there.

This justified victim mentality can lead to being a victimizer and is the energy that is so prevalent in the world right now.

I realized that I had put on that same attitude/energy that I had felt from the guy I was stuck behind. I was not acknowledging others in a calm and present way. It was if they didn’t exist to me and was blowing them off so I would be more comfortable in my avoidance. It was like a desire to be separate from them and not share the same space. This is impossible and can be felt by others. They may not know what it is but most will feel it.

For me the reason for this lack of fully acknowledging people I look at is because of some fear. I still often feel the need to protect myself and so I use all these conscious and unconscious techniques to do that. Like a superficial smile and brief eye contact.

The truth is I do not need to act like this. I am safe and by acting as if I am not or like a victim I can actually invite hostilities or at the very least superficial interactions which are not appreciated in a very amazing place like the Big Island of Hawaii. People actually look at each other here and smile even if they don’t know you. It is very rude not to acknowledge each other here. This is very different from where I grew up. I tell some locals this and they are amazed that many strangers would get upset with you if you smile at them or if you try to help them.

For me to simply put on a smile and not really look at people is something I could get away with on the mainland but here I see now that more is required. Perhaps it is the result of my intention to live life with an open and loving heart. The Universe always provides these kinds of opportunities in meeting my desire to be better.

So the work for me continues in healing my need to cover my own ass and keep people at a distance but I am grateful for my mirrors that help me see where I can improve and be a more open and loving human being.

May you remember to see the mirror,
Jason

Stretching Beyond Ego

A realization came to me recently while listening to some music a family member had sent. It was a Susan Boyle CD I received months ago. I finally decided I should take some time to listen to it since my father’s wife felt the need to send it to me along with some other things. All these gifts were a bit of a surprise and felt very random.

I listened to the first song and I was immediately hit with this, “Oh my God this is horrible and ridiculous!” I saw it as sappy and cheesy. It was something I would make fun of and in fact I did in my head. So I turned it off and laughed it off.

Later that night I was meditating. My meditations lately have been much more directed at connecting to my heart. I want to be friendlier and more open with people. Also, I know that the true connection with all parts of self and God Source is found in the heart.

While in meditation, I was reminded of the song I heard earlier and felt I was sending unharmonious energy out as the result of my negative and very judgmental reaction to it. I sent Love to my father’s wife in that moment and communicated to a part of her that I would try and listen to it again.

A couple of days later I gave it another shot. I set the intention to just listen and allow myself to experience the fullness of what I was listening to. I was rather uncomfortable and felt embarrassed if anyone was to know what I was listening to, which struck me as a little odd. I kept thinking, or more like had thoughts running through my head, of all the movies I had seen where this kind of music was made fun of or to portray a character as being soft or weak, especially if they were men.

I also noticed that a part of me wanted to make fun of it. I came up with some really funny sayings and visualizations associated with what I was hearing. I longed to express this to people in order to gain laughter and camaraderie with others like I found in the past. Instead, I surrendered that part and just continued to listen.

I was busy doing other things, like checking emails but kept listening and found myself really tuning in during certain songs to both her voice and the lyrics. I felt another part of me was enjoying it. I felt relaxed.

I realized that a part of me liked it, but the part of me that was very uncomfortable was kicking and screaming. Basically, saying “This isn’t who we want to be in the world. We don’t listen to this stuff, we laugh at it. We like energetic music that moves us and puts us in motion. Not this slow boring stuff that would embarrass us.”

This voice was my ego, that part of me that wants to be a certain way and control things to achieve that mentally represented ideal. The truth is that this control is impossible and leads to inauthentic expression, being fake or a creating a type of mask that most people can see right through. A mask that many years past became such a part of me that I had forgotten who I truly was.

The ego is also susceptible to external negative energetic influences most often experienced internally as thoughts, images, and in extreme cases voices. It is the part that is easiest to hijack in order to perpetuate suffering of self and others in the world. It separates and divides potentially becoming a massive block to the heart and connection with others, especially those who do not believe or like the same things it does.

I often feel like the ego itself is a parasite, an aspect of the mind somewhere between one’s personality and the higher mind. I am still trying to work this out. I feel the Freudian description is lacking in its scope to encompass the multidimensional levels at work. So when I say ego I am not referring specifically to a psychoanalytical definition, although I see value in that information.

I am still not big on this type of music, but it is relaxing and it calms me. I find it to be something I enjoy as long as I don’t place judgment on it out of some insecurity. So, I guess I do like it in a way, but I am not ready to play it loudly for all to hear. Maybe by writing about it here I can lessen that ego identity that feels so threatened by it. To accept the music for what it is and not feel the need to make fun of it even though doing this was an easy way to bond with others in the past (many other people would be insulted by this and in truth would actually further isolate me).

Negative ego based judgment lessens what is actually a beautiful expression of the heart, vulnerable and yet powerful. Something that is always there waiting to be felt despite the thin film of ego trying so hard to hide it.

May you live Courageously with Heart,
Jason

A couple of movies that I really like in how they depict the ego are Revolver, an awesome Guy Ritchie film, and Peaceful Warrior, which was a great book turned into a movie.

The Unholy Trinity

Did I get your attention? I know it is a bit dramatic but for me I see three energies to be the most powerful forces that can affect my health and well-being when they are taken to an extreme or better yet just allowed to run. By run I mean like an unconscious program or conditioned response to various stimuli. These three things are negativity, judgment, and time.
I do not see these things as inherently bad but when taken to an extreme they are very detrimental in my life. It is like they build up and run inside of me affecting all my interactions in all environments. I find it very hard to slow my mind down and become present. There is a constant feeling of needing to project into the future, to anticipate, and plan. There is restlessness and a strong desire to use distractions to control these patterns (really the distractions only seem to temporarily lessen the awareness). The thought of meditation to get centered during the cascade of these energies sounds extremely unpleasant and often is extremely difficult. Before experiencing this current amped up mental body condition, meditation felt very peaceful and I looked forward to it. You could basically call this all stress but for me I find it important to pinpoint the specific energies which help create this state of being or better yet state of non-being.
I noticed this intensity build up again now that summer break is over and I am back taking classes at the university. I see how so much of what I experience there triggers these energies to be expressed in me and how hard it is to stop. The biggest two in this situation are judgment and time. (Negativity is often combined with the judgment). It is always better to discern information but I find in my case since I am immersed in a field of information that can be very singly focused without much higher consciousness in the material, at least not being taught where I am, that it is hard for me not to begin judging things. To continually hear beliefs that rattle the very core of me as being unhealthy and self-limiting really upset me. I feel as if I am back in time and have knowledge of all these amazing things but very few around me seem able to grasp the concepts. There are so many variables not being taken into account when doing psychological research that huge issues are being totally ignored. Many know they are doing this for ease of discovery and discussion but the folly I am seeing is those that don’t realize it and have become dogmatic and a bit arrogant in their assumptions. One of the biggest is that human beings can be studied objectively. Nothing can be studied objectively in this reality, especially multidimensional beings. The double slit experiment in quantum physics has taught us this. It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try but hopefully stay aware of the potential for unknown variables. The field of anthropology has come a long way in understanding this reality but psychology is not there yet and will probably not get there for some time especially since so much focus is now being placed on research in the field cognitive neuroscience. I feel this is a great pursuit and enjoy the material but not when it is believed to explain the entirety of a human being, ignoring the complexity of how the soul and spirit interact with this reality through the physical body. It is like understanding how your car works but there still needs to be a driver of the vehicle.
Another big disconnect is the total ignorance of indigenous cultures and their knowledge. How beliefs and practices are dismissed as total lunacy or simply as “primitive” thinking. We all started out with this knowledge even the Europeans who are just a little longer removed from it. There are common themes among all nature based ancient cultures which are important for human health and well-being. One of the most important in my opinion is the acknowledgement of the unseen, that which is strongly internally felt and requires the ability to actually be present with an environment. People who have this sensitivity are not dysfunctional, or schizophrenic. There are even children who have been given this negative label of schizophrenia. There are extreme cases for sure but I feel many are being diagnosed based on a misunderstanding of their high sensitivity to subtle energy. They are able to see and hear what many ignore or are afraid to admit they themselves have experienced.
So much of this post probably feels like a negative rant but I felt these things needed to be expressed at least for my own mental health. I realize I am where I am and learning these things for a reason. Perhaps I just need more patience while jumping through these hoops but I can’t ignore all the potential available to help people by combining this knowledge. I am anxious to get into more applied applications, to find someone in academia that is incorporating anthropology, psychology, biology, epigenetics, quantum physics, and shamanism into this field. Maybe I will have to be the one to do it someday.
So getting back to my unholy trinity, I focus on the time aspect to keep it in check. To really set the intention to be present with whatever I do and not deviate too much. Basically it comes down to discipline. I do my assignments and use all my mental body to read and analyze but then I set aside a chunk of time to meditate every day, working to turn everything off during that chunk of time. The meditation of letting go of all thoughts calms the storm inside me. The rest of the day I work on mindfulness meditation while interacting with the world. Every time I remember I check in, breathe, and let go of whatever thought or energy I am carrying inside me so it does not build up and put me on some kind of panic driven overstimulated pattern. By focusing on being present I can catch the negativity and judgment before it creates all that tension in my body. I also find it important recently to stop and listen to what I am feeling and not just dismiss what is going on inside. In the past I was ignoring a lot of this because I felt like I didn’t have enough time and just plowing through things which left me stressed out and frustrated. Not only that but it seemed to disconnect me from my true self/higher self-connection. This connection is where real intelligence is, the ability to discern extremely large amounts of variables and information to come to a deeply felt truth. It is hard to navigate the current education system with intuitive thought or maybe it isn’t but it is hard to communicate it to those who live there. So I will need to work to gain mastery of my mental body to thrive in the university system but always remain strongly connected to my true sense of intelligence and power. Maybe someday when the time is right the realm of subtle energy can be empirically proven and accepted within academia as a major component in human health and well-being.

May you always find your center during a mental storm,
Jason

The Exposed Nerve

I had mentioned in my about me section on this blog that I felt like an exposed nerve in the world. Now might be a good time to elaborate a bit on that as I feel this is a very common Starseed and Indigo trait. I am also aware that this is something that many of us might prefer to just turn off sometimes.

I have also noticed this pattern in people who have experienced severe trauma which will often show as hyper vigilance and sensitivity. I do feel there is a difference from the two in the form of gaining a level of controlling and monitoring ones thoughts, as much of what is experienced needs to be consciously filtered but that is not saying everything experienced needs to be dismissed as not real. That would be the easy way out. One could argue that everyone has been traumatized here on this planet which could trigger this ability but I see the openness and feeling abilities very strong in many if not all children, especially when very young before they have developed higher cognitive functions which based on the belief systems they are exposed to can limit their ability to recognize and understand what they are feeling around them. They are often taught to ignore things as most adults do. In my case it is a little of both trauma and what I feel is a strong genetic pattern for experiencing the energies in my environment. I am very aware that sometimes it is just the thoughts I am experiencing that are causing me to feel a certain way or that I am focusing too much on one specific aspect of an environment, say the one angry person in a room full of smiling people. I have learned to mitigate this more and more over the years. Mindfulness meditation really helped develop this self-awareness of what might simply be my own creation of a reality or specific focus on one aspect of reality. Still there are many times that I am out in the world, for instance sitting in a classroom where I cannot help but feel the mood and energy in there. I would play with this ability when I was working for a chauffeured transportation company sitting in different parking lots with my eyes closed just sensing what was around me independent of visual cues.

These feelings in the environment can often overwhelm me especially if I am tired or my visualizing of shielding energy is not very strong. I can get caught up in what I am feeling, thinking it is mine. This is a real pain in the ass because it is often hard to discern this. What is my energy and what is someone else’s near me or that was there before me. The truth is it wouldn’t matter if I believe it is all mine. True, I need to be self-aware of my deeper emotions but I also realize that to blindly accept any felt mood only feeds the negative energy on this planet. I have found this to be true for positive energy as well. There are well meaning people out there with beautiful hearts but that can be extremely vampiric. They are so hungry for positive light energy that they suck it up like ravenous junkies leaving the environment depleted. They have not learned to self-source their connection to God/Universe.  Otherwise they could experience the energy and create a larger yield rather than just sucking it all up.

Another thing I have experienced with this whole exposed nerve condition is a need to clear my energy field often. At the end of the day I notice that where I had been and the people I met seem to leave an energetic imprint on me. So when I meditate I will often see their faces and feel certain things I didn’t notice earlier. I do not dig into this too much as that would be rude to that person, I simply let go and breath it out, working to suspend all judgment, clearing all the thoughts in my head and removing any implants or energy blockages in my body. As I am doing this form of mediation, relaxing my whole body and mind I will all of a sudden become aware of something in my neck, around my third eye or some other area of my body, so I simply pull it out with focused intention, really feeling the energy flowing in my hands (I have been told this is working with Orion Healing Codes). This is one of many reasons I feel that meditation is so important for people especially Starseeds and Indigos, so we are aware of what is in our field of energy. I know this whole implant thing can sound pretty crazy but the truth is if it helps is it really crazy? It is just another tool. I would hate to have to prove this to anyone but that matters not for I have received all the proof I need. I have had sessions with others who helped me achieve this ability, or perhaps helped me remember I had it, and who gave me the confirmation I needed.

So during my clearing meditations I am able to use this exposed nerve trait to my advantage. During this process I would eventually reach a state where my energy is balanced and my mind becomes calm. Those times would allow me to objectively feel the energy of an environment I was in or an intended location somewhere else. I could then tap into it and in a neutral space feel that other energy, creatively clear it and/or put out a specific energy to balance it. This is how I do grid work when called upon to do so. There are many others out there doing the same thing, consciously working with their energy to assist the planet and the Beings on it. I believe everyone has this ability as energetic god creator beings. These clearings are never to be forced on anyone but could best be described as cleaning a kitchen that someone has neglected for a long long time because they didn’t notice all the stuff that was collecting in that area. The analogy I was given a long time ago was that energy is like cutting an onion on a cutting board. You can remove the onion but everything that is placed on that cutting board will taste of the onion.

May you always know the strength in what was once considered a weakness,

Jason