My Epic Adventure part 1

I decided to do a recapitulation of my recent trip to Europe. About halfway through I realized that I had material that I felt I needed to share with others because of how powerful the experiences where for me. It may not flow real well but perhaps you may find all the subtle energy experiences interesting.

The trip was truly an epic adventure just as I intended. Earlier in the year I intuitively gave myself what I now call and offer to others as Intention and Manifestation sessions.

I had set aside an hour and created sacred space in order to ask myself a series of questions designed to focus intention on what I wanted out of this life as voiced through my HigherSelf. This isn’t the mind or ego desires but more intuitive and feeling although the ego would be happy with many of them.

I arrived in London at 7:10am after traveling all the way from the Big Island Hawaii. Met up with my girlfriend and fellow adventurer Mirabai whom I wrote of in my previous post. We grabbed some food then went to the airport Yotel to get some much needed sleep and physical reconnection.

A Yotel is a hotel where you pay by the hour which Mirabai assured me was pretty legit but when we got there it had a slimy kind of vibe. There was pink light everywhere and this kind of Japanese cartoon thing going on. It was actually very nice and a cool set up but not really energetically comfortable staying there. Perhaps it was merely the setting reminding me of a sleazy downtown rent by the hour place but I really did feel a ton of sexual energy in that space. It made for a great reunion but at the same time it wasn’t what I would call pure hearted or even heart involved type sex energy there. I feel we still maintained that and perhaps this helped balance and clear the density from that place. Not only the Yotel but also for the whole land of the United Kingdom. Working to bring in more heart to a land that has been credited with being the center of what is called the NRG grid.

This energy grid system is designed to create sexual misery and separation in humans. I do not speak of this much these days but could not help thinking about the information I studied while part of Lisa Renee’s online community. I was not too concerned but have had enough experience with such things to know it wise to be cautious and certainly not to go into autopilot in such an environment. This would show up as very strong emotions or thoughts that impulse one to do or say things in an extreme manner or in ways other than what they usually experience.

We took a flight that same day to Edinburgh. When we arrived I was surprised to see how much Scotland looked like Washington State where I grew up. It was gray and rainy with a lot of the same vegetation.

We stayed right in Edinburgh at Mirabai’s friend’s house. It was a really old 5 story town home that she used to live in. It was actually quite haunted but she kept the stuff away from me that night so I could sleep. I got up early and took some pictures of the sunrise from the rooftop. We walked around town and grabbed some breakfast.

Eventually we found our way to Edinburgh castle. I felt a ton of energy while walking through the main gate. Physically I felt dizzy and like I was being pushed over. I often feel this in places where a lot of energy is consolidated or where some heavy emotion was experienced. This could be from one person or in this case extremely strong from multiple past experiences and other energies that can accumulate in an area.

The best way this awareness of energy was described to me long ago was through the analogy of cutting an onion on a cutting board. The onion can be removed and everything looks clean but anything that is placed on that spot will taste of the onion.

When we went to the room above this gate I felt terror, a needing to keep an enemy away. This “Oh my God, here they come and I need to get out of here but I can’t leave”. I just sat with it and brought in an energy of letting go of needing to battle and releasing the desperate survival fears. It was like an internal surrender that I often have to do when faced with extreme fear. I simply felt without resistance and mental judgment, letting go of that feeling of fear about being destroyed and embracing my knowing/feeling of safety no matter what may happen to the physical body. The foundation for all of this is in the breath.

When I got stable with the heavy energies I called in more freedom from survival fears not only for this room but for the whole of the planet. Survival fears control people and cause them to give up on their passion, dreams, and connections with others. I intended the creation of some vortexes which I saw taking that heavy trapped energy out and back up to Source/Universe, basically out way up high where it can mix and blend to become something different once again.

Energy does not like to be stuck, its natural nature is to flow and move and so there is always space to assist it in that when the time is right through the power of conscious neutral witnessing.

To get even more specific, the energy signature of a place like this was very much about being trapped, stuck, no way out to survive. That was the key concern and flavor of the energy but the effect on people can be very different. Places like this can perpetuate continued misery with a similar energy that plays out in a mired of ways over the course of history. This influence can extend beyond a room or Castle.

I knew it was not just my imagination or an over active mind because Mirabai had an over-whelming experience of claustrophobia and fear almost to the point of panic and had to bolt out of there as the feeling of being trapped was so strong.

Later, we found out that at one point a man had been held there overnight awaiting execution, but died in his sleep before the morning. This is the more specific aspect of the experience/energy she felt in the room.


When I finally walked out I felt very pissed off and angry. A lot of the anger happened to center around all the people just mindlessly wandering around. I felt like they had no clue what was going on energetically here and I almost violently pushed my way through them to get out. I was still feeling a lot of the energy of the place and it took some time to clear it out of my body.

This is often how I work and have seen this with others who transmute and clear energy. Strong energy from an environment can briefly affect those sensitive to it manifesting in uncharacteristic behavior and so it requires great self control and discipline to keep impulses from that in check.

I would invite all who read this to realize that this is true for many people especially children and without tools to remove this energy people can take on things that are not theirs, such as thoughts, feelings and even action impulses.

Many of you reading this already know that when we go to places and feel what is happening, are able to be present with it and let it go it helps clean/heal that area. First clearing personal space and then one is able to affect change around them without forcing, simply harmonizing and removing an excess or blockages of various energies.

There was another section of the castle where people went to pray called St. Margaret’s chapel. It is considered one of the oldest buildings in Edinburgh from around 1250ad. This specific location was often spared during attacks.

By contrast the energy I sensed as soon as we walked in there was deeply comforting and warm. I was surprised by this. People in here seemed to feel the energy and a few where just sitting there looking as though they had been crying. This place was like the opposite of the room above the gate. It felt loving and safe and probably the last refuge of people in difficult situations. I would venture to say that there was a portal there.

Later, I learned that Edinburgh castle is claimed to be the most besieged place in Great Britain and one of the most attacked places in the world according to research showing 26 sieges over its 1100 year history.

Next we drove to Strachur. Mirabai took the wheel as it was my first time being somewhere that they drove on the left. It was really a trip experiencing that so I just wanted to watch and get my brain used to it.

We arrived at the Airbnb in Strachur near Loch Fyne which was very nice and had an amazing view from our room but the people running the Airbnb seemed super angry and guarded despite not showing much sign of this on the surface. This is really one of the most difficult types of situations for me to deal with. It is like a volcano waiting to explode and so there is this constant tension in the air, but yet nothing ever happens except forced smiles and a everything is fine veneer.

It wasn’t a very fun night as we had to be very quiet and woke up feeling like shit and angry. The morning improved when I had my first Scottish breakfast that was comprised of eggs, beans, and toast. Mirabai had some really great smoked salmon and scrambled eggs which are often eaten for breakfast in Scotland. Apparently, in the UK beans are a big part of breakfast.

I drove for my first time on the left side of the road from Strachur to Broadford on the Isle of Skye. It was really a bit of a challenge and required me to stay very present. I could actually feel parts of my brain going into overdrive working to process everything and create new neural pathways because of it being so opposite of my conditioning. I could feel this tingle like electricity moving around in there.

On the way to the Isle of Skye I had a really amazing Aberdeen Angus steak burger. I was told that Aberdeen Angus cows are raised on the island of Orkney. Well treated and happy. I was a bit reluctant to have a burger at a place on the side of the road in a trailer but the man that sold it to me seemed like a really good guy and was extremely nice. He even sold the burger to me cheap with fries. I felt energized when I ate it, not the usual “Oh man, that was good but now I feel like crap for a half an hour”.

One of the highlights of the trip was when we drove through Glenn Coe where many of the MacDonald clan was killed long ago. The pass was very beautiful with high mountains and lush green grass like what is seen in Braveheart and other highland movies. The ground was very wet and marshy making our shoes wet while getting the picture seen below. I could only imagine how annoying that would get walking around with wet feet all the time.


In Broadford on the Isle of Skye we stayed at an Airbnb that was an old farm house with a father and daughter running it. They seemed very aware and had done a lot of energy work around the place so we didn’t have too many problems with energetic disturbances. We actually heard them doing some kind of chant or mantra while we were having sex which Mirabai thought was magical, although I worried that perhaps they didn’t like the energy or something.They were nice but didn’t get much time to talk with the daughter.

The father, an older man in his 80’s chatted with us over tea in the old kitchen with an ancient cast iron range. He revealed that he had meditated a great deal for many years. He told us about his life and growing up believing that he was the son of a man who really wasn’t his father. When he finally found out the truth it was extremely shocking to him. The majority of this seemed mostly because of the fact that he was raised to tell the truth and couldn’t believe such a lie could be perpetuated at his expense.

He shared some of his awareness about the paranormal but said he never saw any fairies where they lived. He did share in a moment of vulnerability that he could communicate with animals.

I didn’t really notice much subtle energy stuff the whole time we were in Skye perhaps one must go further north to experience that which is on the edge of the veil such as fairies and other mythological characters.

The next day we headed out to the Donald center. It was cool but not really the connection I had hoped for with my lineage. It was a place where a portion of the MacDonald clan had consolidated their power and wealth creating a home. What I got while visiting there was that I could do this as well, that I will step out, pull everything together and create. That was the piece I got from there. I will create wealth as they did by consolidating all my resources and abilities.

We then drove over towards Inverness and spent the night at Strathpeffer but not before we went to the beach at Chanonry Point near Cromarty firth where dolphins are said to be seen. It was extremely windy there. We walked around for a while not seeing anything.

I was drawn to stand at the very point of the beach where it made a sharp turn and went towards town. It was a very powerful spot where both the wind and the waves seemed to be the most strong. I faced the powerful wind and anchored myself into the sand in a centered tai chi stance.

I felt all that was around me and delighted in the power and connection. I was exhilarated by the feeling of being almost blown over but simply allowing the energy to flow down trough me maintaining my balance while swaying with the wind. I looked out over the ocean and invited the dolphins to come visit us. I saw nothing and so we decided to walk down along the shore towards the town talking and admiring the various different kinds of rocks on the beach.

We doubled back just before reaching the town. On the way back as we approached the point we had been before we noticed a crowd had gathered. The closer we got the more our hearts sang and my brain was perplexed by the appearance of many dolphins in the very spot we had stood less than an hour before.

The dolphins seemed to be hunting and jumping up in the air. It took great willpower and my continued expressed concern for her safety to keep Mirabai out of the sea. The waves there where extremely strong and it looked as though a powerful current might be in that area. This seemed of little concern in the briefest of moments when feeling her immense joy and love for these beings.

She managed to just interact from the beach even though at times the dolphins were a mere 40 yards from where we stood. I thanked them and especially the Universe as is my practice anytime I experience such “coincidences”.

More to come….

May you always know the adventure that is your life,



It has been almost exactly 3 years since I moved to the Big Island of Hawaii. I have had many new experiences here and a lot of growth. Probably the most common theme for my time here is that of learning to be fully present in my body. To really feel and experience what that is like. Not only that but to use the body consciously, being aware of how it is moving and how my energy is running through it.

In the past I often tried to escape this feeling. I used various external substances and distractions. Even meditation was a way to escape. During the times when these things were not possible I tried to hide within myself, pulling my energy in. This shrinking away was reflected in my posture and mannerisms.

I read recently that it is believed in evolutionary terms that the reptilian aspect of the body originated from some form of turtle. I will not attempt to venture the truth of this, but I can say that is definitely the way my body seemed to act especially when I was a kid. It was if I was wishing I had a shell to sink back into. I did wind up creating some energetic ones in how I emotionally tried to protect myself back then. To this day I am still working on tearing down the various levels of these barriers to my experiencing deeper relationships and my environment.

There is a very strong warrior energy here in Hawaii. This feels especially strong on the less developed and volcanically active Big Island. This island has been referred to as the root chakra of the islands. There is also an obvious connection to Lemuria or Mu, the ancient civilization once here or perhaps, a better description would be, existing in another dimension in this same space. This ancient culture was said to be very much about the physical body aspects of experience as compared to Atlantis which I would consider more focused on the experience of mental power.

Personally, I feel the energy of this island as very powerful and raw. Strong but yet fluid like a wave. This energy is so strong that even the most disconnected person can’t help but be affected by it. For me sometimes it can feel like too much to process.

While here I was very dedicated to training in Tai Chi for almost 2 years. I learned very quickly that with all my amazing experiences and abilities with subtle energy from hundreds of hours of meditating that I wasn’t able to manifest it physically. Like many others that I saw come to this class that spent a great deal of time meditating, I had my reality and ego shattered by this. We used all our focus and intention, relaxing, breathing and feeling our energy but it did not work. I was very confused as to why I could not move my energy outside my body strong enough to do the things my teacher could do or at least not let him knock me over so easy.

I was able to have all kinds of amazing experiences on the inner planes. Many of these experiences were physically confirmed enough to convince me of their accuracy. I felt it was just a matter of being focused and or letting go enough to allow my higher-self to direct these things. I truly believed there was no limit to human potential when achieving high states of frequency in meditation. It was just a matter of more practice. I saw how when these things were not possible for me to manifest no matter how much time I put into them that I was in maya or illusion. Not so much because of my inner experiences but because I was trying to force them into this reality and level of density. It was as if I needed these experiences to be real. I needed to bring them to this plane so as to have more reassurance of who I am.

These inner experiences may be very real but simply unable to manifest onto the earth plane at this time. Maybe I just need much more practice and discipline, but the point is that I had to let go and be flexible with these things. To believe if I choose to but also acknowledge it may not be totally accurate for the 3D level. Perhaps there was some ego involved as I saw a couple people come to class that I could feel how good they were at meditation and holding a calm focused energy but I could also feel a high level of astral delusion. Basically, that they spent a lot of time blissing out in the astral plane and were not very grounded. These people become extremely frustrated and would not stay in class very long. I was basically considered one of these people by my teacher, not that he believed in such things that I know to be real experientially, but he saw the pattern of how those who were really into spirituality and meditation would not stay very long. He often would tell me “well, at least you stay and keep trying” He saw how a lot of this group had a hard time letting go of their need for subtle energy ability to be manifested quickly in something very grounded such as Tai Chi. There is a great deal of physical mechanics involved which requires being very present in the body.

I had to embody all of who I am energetically in a very physical way. I had to refine it, to understand the mechanisms of balance not only emotionally, energetically, and mentally but also how that all plays out in my body. Being able to move the body and be at peace with it when it did not respond the way I envisioned or intended.

Perhaps it could be called body awareness, but I feel it is beyond that. It is being fully integrated on every level, moving as one in a calm, relaxed and focused manner. Holding while letting go, moving forward while going backward, and expanding while contracting. Being able to do all these things simultaneously both energetically and physically. Tai Chi is like one of the best physical examples of how all great truths are a paradox. They do not make sense to the logical linear mind but yet they are undeniably true when empirically tested or simply observed.

When I stand against a wall and push something my back is pushed against the wall as well. So to push, without force, I expand both forward and backward to be more effective. It is opposite of how I normally push things. I would just push forward harder until I was off balance. I would not think to have energy going behind me or rooting into the earth while pushing forward. My mind would get carried away and send me out beyond my point of balance, so eager to win. I would rely on my arms and shoulders rather than use my whole body for efficiency. Even something as simple as standing, I was locking my knees to hold my spine straight putting a strain on my back and neck. My teacher would often say to this that “the abnormal has become normal.”

I am still working on moving the body as one in a calm and focused manner. I have had a number of small glimpses of what is possible when this is achieved both in myself and others. I was really able to witness the strength of it in a gentleman that visited from China. This man was so good at push hands (like sparring but totally different, it is almost like fighting your own bad habits of forcing things. Probably better described as a dance of connected energy between two people who just follow each other) he could move you with just a slight touch. In fact, there are those who can even do this from a distance but I have yet to experience it.

What I experienced with this man from China was that he was able to feel into my energy and body, discover a point of imbalance and gently push it. But this is where it becomes harder to grasp, he goes around and under it like water. It is circular, as everything in tai chi is a circle, and if I tried to adjust he used that to gently push me over. I did an experiment with this by really strengthening the shielding of my energy with the 12d shield technique, which did make it a little more difficult for him. I could see on his face he was really digging trying to find that point of imbalance.

A lot of this ability has to do with rooting ones energy which I thought I was doing in meditation but realized I had to increase the visualization and go deeper. I had to incorporate how my body was positioned and how the energy was dispersed within it. I had to go beyond simply thinking, feeling, and intending. I had to embody all aspects all at once, feeling everything while being relaxed.

Realizing all this I had a new level of awareness in what embodiment is. There are many levels to embodiment but in this situation I am just describing being more energetically present, balanced, and connected at every moment. Something I have to constantly remind myself to come back to.

Embodiment goes even further as it is also about expanding ones energy which includes posture. This for me this is tied into being seen and noticed. I have been working to correct my old conditioned posture of fear, which is the rolled forward shoulders and head down position like the turtle I mentioned earlier. This is used in tai chi slightly but mine was much more accentuated when under stress.

In true polarity integrator form I was also exposed to a very specific yoga technique called YogAlign here in Hawaii. This body posture strengthening technique is very much about standing tall with chest out, shoulders back. This was frowned upon in tai chi as having shoulders too far back and chest too high is believed to throw off balance, especially when first learning. Here I had two very different ideologies in what is proper posture that I had to find balance with.

Just like the tai chi, YogAlign did help my back and even more than the tai chi it helped my stiff shoulders. When I stood tall with my shoulders back I felt stronger and more confident but I had to balance this very outward posture by keeping my energy humble and not challenging. To be confident not arrogant with how I was carrying myself. Bit hard to explain I guess.

I was able to find a balance between the two disciplines. I am no longer taking Tai Chi classes but still do the yang long form once in a while. I was putting too much stress on myself to master it. I just could not let go. I also had that digestive thing I wrote about before along with all the university studies stress that left me wiped out.

Anyone who has done tai chi for an extended period of time will tell you there is a lot to focus on but yet still be calm and relaxed. For a perfectionist like me it was just too stressful. I realized it would take me a whole lifetime to accomplish what I wanted. I will one day start it up again but for now I have too many other things going on that I cannot give it the time it requires. I do attend a kung fu class once a week that I really enjoy because of how conscious the teacher is and there really isn’t much pressure to improve which allows me to do so much quicker.

All these techniques have helped me learn about being in my body. When I remember, I am able to feel the connection to it in every moment while moving. While meditating I used to just let go of all the feeling sensations in my body in order to go very deep and connect to my higher self. The same was true of all the thoughts in my sometimes wild beast of a mind. I would let go of everything so I could connect to the intuitive intelligence beyond the linear mind. Now I have had to learn to use my body and mind while staying connected to my infinite energetic self. I am working to deal with the little pains in the body and the dissonance often experienced when striving to have everything connected. This often brings up a lot of anger and frustration. So I have to remember to be kind to myself and not allow my anger to intensely force my body to do what my ego wills.

Another experience I have had in Hawaii in relation to physical embodiment is getting a massage. Sure I have had ones before but not by a professional. In fact my first real one was a lomi lomi message. This is an ancient Hawaiian technique that has a very powerful energetic aspect to it which must be experienced to truly understand.

Speaking of embodiment, the woman I got the massage from wasn’t of Hawaiian blood but she has spent a lot of time here on the islands and learned the technique in a very traditional way over a period of years. She has a deep connection to the culture, people, and land. You can really feel that energy coming from her. I have noticed this in others who are very connected to the islands but are not Hawaiian or born/raised here. They seem to embody the Hawaiian spirit; after all I strongly know we have all had other lifetimes other than this one. I am only aware of one that I had here and I would not consider it very pleasant so perhaps that is why I do not fully resonate with this place. I like it and it is beautiful but my heart is drawn to the Greek islands for whatever reason. Perhaps one day I will go there and experience the why of that.

I now get massages from time to time which really does help and is like a form of self-love. I was really abusive to my body in the past and I saw massages as an expensive self-indulgence. I now try to take better care of myself and allow for getting a massage without feeling guilty or unmanly about it.

Much of my frustration with life lands in my body so doing all these things helps me stay connected and healthy in a vehicle that I need to navigate this reality. I now honor and acknowledge the body as in my experiences it is part of me but yet has a separate intelligence and needs care. I am reminded of hearing numerous times that the body is like your child self. Like a child it requires care and protection from possible abuse. I work to stay within it even when things get unpleasant. I strive to be a compassionate master of it using it to its optimum capacity without pushing it too far. I choose to be in my body, listening, and loving it even when it doesn’t always do what I want.

May you love and be fully functional in your body,

Planetary Peace Within

Early this month I had an energetic healing session in which a very interesting and lingering experience occurred. The session went very well and a great many things were addressed some I was aware of and some not so much, which is why I find getting this kind of assistance so valuable. What really stood out for me happened at the end and was not something either I or the practitioner had intended to transpire. I had two soul integrations and immediately after that I felt this incredible energy just below my solar plexus around my still point or even the dan tien area. It was hard to pin point an exact location. It was a feeling of a whole planet full of loving and kind Beings where communication and deep respect for one another was present, a feeling of real unity embodied somewhere. I felt this within me like I was carrying that or connected to it in some very powerful way more than just a cord or an intention for it to be there. It was there. I got that I could simply remember this energy and feel it in times of need or all the time. It was very comforting. It feels like something very specific, more than just connecting to my higher self or to Source.

I guess a little back story is in order. I have been experiencing issues with my digestive system for almost a year now. I am getting towards the tail end of it now but it was pretty rough going. I can now see the multiple purposes for it. I learned a great deal more than I ever wanted to know about diet and nutrition, how to combine foods, and how to muscle test myself more effectively. During this delicate period of not really being able to eat much of anything I started to go into a lot of fear with the whole situation. I was experiencing a great deal of weight loss and had symptoms of nutritional deficiencies from poor absorption, along with extreme difficulty thinking clearly and fatigue. All this led me to deviate from the naturopathic and Chinese medicine route I was taking and into the western medicine system looking for answers fearing something horrible was wrong with me. I eventually realized, with lots of help, what I already knew; that that system only knows how to treat disease. I experienced firsthand how an illness can overcome someone and make them turn their power over to a system that, though the people mean well, is driven by fear and treating people with chemicals and machines. They couldn’t find anything wrong because it had not manifested into a full disease pattern but it was on its way to that if I didn’t remember who I truly was and let go of the general fears and worry I was carrying. I had been getting lost between two worlds for a while which I feel was the cause of a lot of my physical discomfort. I felt trapped and angry about the current situation I am in even though it isn’t that bad. In fact in many ways it is a blessing as long as I can let go of my ego’s need to be in control. I noticed my condition got worse whenever I had negative thoughts or placed judgment on myself or another. I had not realized how much I had been doing that. It is an old pattern of mine, something I thought I overcame years ago but the true test is when one is unhappy and uncomfortable. I was spending too much time in my head analyzing everything. So I had no choice but to really work on refining the love and acceptance I have for myself and others (still working on that). Also a need to surrender more to a living situation that is not ideal but is actually very supportive, to come to terms with the current path I am on, going through a system of education that often bothers me because there is not a lot of heart in the info and I feel it could be drastically restructured to increase learning and excitement. Although, I am beginning to understand why this academic system exists the way it does and to see the value of it. To understand the big picture of how breaking something down into pieces and parts in order to understand it, even if that may be impossible, can eventually provide confirmation. that though focusing on an elephant with a microscope might blind or lead people down the wrong road for a while, eventually more info comes out and the connections are seen. A great example of this is found in the study of epigenetics. Scientists and academics now are starting to see that what the mystics and the sages have been saying for thousands of years is true, experience alters gene expression and even conscious intention (mindfulness meditation) does this. There is no such thing as “junk DNA”, it is all relevant. Also, thank God for the whole field of quantum physics for also bringing some much needed balance in attempting to understand the reality of the world we live in.

So now as I move forward during this phase of my life I work to maintain my heart connection to Source so that I do not get lost in all the mind stuff I experience while taking classes. This blog is a big part of finding that balance, to be able to express myself without a filter or the need to back everything up with empirical evidence.

I remember that the area that has been causing me so much trouble is a source of great comfort when I show it love and appreciation, understanding that this is a sensitive area full of Beings that are not used to verbal or physical abuse in the form of harmful substances whether solid or energetic. I work to create love and respect so as not to harm them or myself.

May you always feel true Unity within,