We flew back to England the morning after our encounter with the dolphins in Scotland. Once there we picked up a really great rental car called a Vauxhall Insignia (aka Opel). I loved this car. It was fast and had a lot of torque off the line because of the diesel engine and with the 6 speed manual transmission it was great for cruising fast on the freeway.
People drive really fast over there. You just have to watch out for the speed cameras. My only complaint about the car was that it would stall any time you let it idle or bog down in between gears because of the fuel saving engine cut off. Not a very cool option.
I am really spoiled after having driven over in Europe. The style is totally different beyond just the driving on the other side of the road thing in the UK. People actually get out of your way. They move over when you want to pass even on two lane roads. If you happen to pass someone with oncoming traffic the cars just move over to the shoulder. There isn’t this massive freak out like they need to play chicken because someone is in “their lane”. I really miss that about Europe, not only the UK but France and Greece as well.
We stopped at Mirbai’s dad’s apartment but he wasn’t there. A woman that looks after him and cleans the place let us in. He had a lot of the art work on the walls that he has made over the years. They were paintings and mosaics of mostly religious themes. We left the gifts we had brought for him there and drove down the road to the store she said he was at. We found him out in front of it looking at something. He was a short man a bit hunched over and slow moving but with a very sunny disposition. He was very excited to see his daughter but a bit confused when we conversed with him. He seems to have a bit of the beginnings of dementia.
We were successful in talking him into going to a pub other than his favorite. The one we found was a really great place called the Carpenters arms. A very popular spot in the small village we found it in.
The pubs seem to be like the heart of a community in most of the villages in the UK. Places to meet, talk, drink and eat good food. This one was no exception. The food was excellent. I learned a lot about the English and their love for protocols and traditions at this place. There seems to be a very strict protocol in how one eats dinner. The one I noticed right away was the upside down fork thing. They balance food on the back of forks and use the left hand to cut food instead of switching hands like most Americans. This latter technique does make more sense but the balancing food on an upside down fork was hard to get my head around.
Another thing I learned, with a bit of embarrassment, is how you are not to move the plates when done. Usually I will take a plate to move it closer to the end of the table for the waiter. This is actually considered rude and not helpful to do so as in the US.
Also, one should never eat dessert until everyone is done eating. In fact they will not bring it. This is something that confused me as to why the cheese plate wasn’t brought out after I requested it twice. The first realization with how different things are was when I had first tried to order it as an appetizer and they looked at me like I was a madman.
Later, they were baffled by my continued request to have it after dinner before everyone is done eating. Cheese is often considered a desert or palette cleanser before sweets. They did eventually bring it before Mira’s dad finished. I was told by Mirabai about the tradition at that point. I felt very embarrassed and understood how Americans could be considered so rude by such ignorance. It also explained why her dad kept apologizing for taking so long to eat. It was a very long time but he was very much enjoying his food which we were all happy to see. It did look good, some kind of meat pie with a bunch of lard in the crust.
We dropped dad off at home and headed up to see the place of my birth, Lakenheath Air force base. We were almost detained after I posed for a picture with the main gate in the background. I remember thinking “Oh man this is bad” when the older guy radioed someone asking if he should brief and release or detain?
Thankfully, we were free to go after they looked over our passports, asked some questions and had us delete the photos. Afterwards they even pointed out a spot where we could take a picture. It isn’t as great as the first one. Even the younger of the two soldiers who questioned us commented on how great the first one was. I was really glad he was there as the other guy seemed very intense and one of those people who is like a dog of war just trying to always please people in authority to the point of blind obedience. Something I consider very dangerous.
We were then off to meet Mirabai’s son Cosmo. I was a bit worried by this but when we first met he gave me a big hug and I felt very welcomed and excepted. The drive up was fun but also very scary at parts. There were a lot of single track roads and especially tight ones just before Cosmos village. It was really hard to see beyond the tall hedges. There were also some extremely narrow places along the road were only one car could barely squeeze through.
We had a great stay with Cosmo. The first day we went go kart racing in Milton Keynes. It was a very strange place much like my friend who lived there described it years ago. It seemed to be comprised of these massive bubbles of neighborhoods all a bit isolated from each other even though they were all connected.
It felt as though there wasn’t much sense of community in this place just a bunch of houses and things to do that cost money. Perhaps the lacking of old family owned pubs was the reason for this. It really struck me odd has to how many things there was to do in the area like two go kart tracks, rock climbing, kayaking, mini golf and a plethora of corporate dining establishments. But again, the common theme was all things that cost money. It was like someone’s grand design of pulling people in around an area like a consumptive model business ideas. From a cognitive perspective it was ingenious but felt soulless and without heart. The main intention seemed to me about money and the creation definitely reflected that.
I did some energy work while sitting on the massive mound next to the go-kart track waiting for our turn to race. I saw a bunch of grids and symbols so I brought in some good energy from Hawaii and whatever I felt was needed in that place. Mostly heart, Aloha.
I did really well racing. I finished 4th out of like 15 people and was first out of all the people who didn’t bring their own helmet or racing suit. Cosmo finished just in front of me. Mirabai was really impressed by both of us and seemed very proud. It was a lot of fun and something I really enjoyed. I was also pleased that Mira got to see me do so well. She was a great support during the whole thing; she took pictures and cheered us on as we went by.
There was a man talking to her while we were racing but I never had concern about her loyalty to me. I felt very safe and supported to enjoy myself without worrying about her or our relationship. It is such a beautiful thing to trust and feel so supported. I am truly grateful for her presence in my life. She really is an incredible woman.
That night we watched some stand up movie Mirabai wanted to watch and munched on stuff we picked up at the store. We picked up her daughter Millie the next day at the train station. We met her with coffee we picked up down the street. There of course was a heart there that Mirabai took a picture of as is her practice for her instagram I see love everywhere.
Millie was pretty tired and had a bit of a cold so we just took it easy that day. We wound up mostly just hanging out around the house then went and had a bite to eat and some coffee at a cool little outdoor café that was part of a farm in Cosmos tiny village. It was the place we had been getting our coffee each morning.
We dropped Millie back off at the train station. She gave me a hug and told me to take care of her mom. It felt a bit like both a warning and a blessing. She and Cosmo seemed very different. She is very into the world of finance, making money and a name for her-self, uninterested in Cosmos awareness of the various conspiracy knowledge which I am also in agreement with. It seems they may have had many discussions about it and she may even believe it too at some level but wants to play the game for a bit.
Hopefully, she doesn’t get too burned out or used up by the system. She seems to be doing very well in it. She later came to visit us in Hawaii for Mirabai’s birthday. They went Swimming with dolphins and we all went out to the lava flow and watched the sun set on the top of Mauna Kea. We had a blast and both of us missed her a great deal after she left.
What seemed like a disaster was actually a blessing when while driving the Vauxhall I miss calculated how close I was to the curb and scratched the wheel up pretty bad. Luckily Cosmo works at a Maserati restoration shop so we were able to go there to get some sand paper and metal polish. It was actually really great that I did curb the wheel because the shop was a great highlight for the trip. It was in a small little village near Cosmos. A very unassuming building but inside was literally millions of dollars or pounds worth of automobiles. Not only the cars that were being worked on like one worth over 2 million pounds but a whole little museum filled with old motorcycles and cars fully restored.
Apparently, this Maserati shop is very famous and well respected in the automotive world. I was able to fix the wheel which turned out looking very good. We turned the car in to the rental company without any trouble. Mirabai was happy about that and impressed that I was able to fix it. I myself was very relieved and proud to be able to draw upon some of my previous experience and skill in working with cars.
Early the next morning we were off to Stansted airport to fly to Marseille with the flight leaving at 6:45am. We missed our flight and had to wait till that afternoon to catch the next one. Luckily we were flying business class so we didn’t have to pay any extra. I was all ready to just hang out at the airport, having found a place where we could lay out on a bunch of seats. Mirabai was really tired and wanted a proper place to sleep so she booked a really nice hotel close by and we got some much needed rest.
On the flight over to France I spent a lot of the time writing my personal essay for the Argosy Marriage and Family therapy master’s degree scholarship which I wound up winning first place for and am now enrolled in the program.
Just before we landed in France I was struck by the beauty of the land and how familiar it felt. I was filled with emotion and my eyes began to water. I felt my heart come back to me. I felt so much I was speechless. I was holding back from fully letting go in that moment. There was so much emotion and tremendous joy in reconnecting with what was left there so long ago.
Mirabai noticed how moved I was and checked in on me asking if I was ok? All I could do was node yes with a big smile on my face. I reclaimed my heart. I had left it there a couple lifetimes ago during WW1.
This was from a past life memory I was very familiar with. A salient lifetime shown to me many years prior because of the tremendous significance it has played in my journey here. It was a powerful shift for me not only in that life but for all the thousands of others that preceded it. It was a final undeniable realization that I was killing my own brothers.
I was fighting people who were just like me over some bullshit because certain men couldn’t get along. I was a pawn in one of the most destructive games played out on this planet.
I remember in that life laying on my back and just letting go. Apparently, I decided to leave a big piece of my heart there on that land in France. The specific aspect of losing heart was not known or clear to me until that moment when returning to France. This of course is all an energetic.
It seems I went a bit too far in that lifetime. It was as if I no longer wanted to feel that level of love and connection to things that through manipulation impassioned me to go out to fight and kill for. The love of family and wanting to protect them from “evil”, the love of my country wanting to keep our righteous way of life alive, and the love of my fellow soldiers and wanting to keep them safe from the “enemy”.
It was all bull shit. We were fighting and dying horribly over a piece of muddy land that was often just walked away from the next day. I was creating suffering and I had done it for thousands of lifetimes. This is the one where I decided I was done playing the game and would no longer participate with it. I felt utterly betrayed.
I reclaimed what was mine simply from this awareness and being back in this beautiful country. With this integration I was able to move towards more wholeness and given the message of, “I see through the game and love the players”.
Forgiving them was not fully possible until this lifetime. Whom I speak of are those men who rally others to a cause that destroys that which is beautiful and vulnerable in the world. I see how I was them for many lifetimes. I see how I was misled by forces that overwhelm men of ego and desire in order to try and separate us all from harmony.
So that is a big part of my epic adventure. There is more I could share like the extremely uncomfortable experience of being in the Istanbul airport 24 hours before an attempted coup but I don’t really feel like writing about that.
We did go to Greece, a place where my soul longs to be and feels at peace. Perhaps I will write about that someday but for now I will end it here and thank all those that have read this far.
May you reclaim all parts of self and enjoy life,