I have had a number of awareness’s of other lives through dream state and other means which I might share later but this combination of lives I am about to describe were presented in a way that was very significant for me. So I would like to start with these particular experiential realizations of past life memory. This session was facilitated by one of the students at the Southwest Institute of the Healing Arts (SWIHA) probably about 6 years ago.
The session begins with going into a meditative state and setting the intention to be shown any and all lifetimes relating to that which is relevant to this current life (or something like that). She does the brief guided meditation thing, having me visualize walking up a flight of stairs and through a door. As I walk through the door I am told to look at my feet and describe what kind of shoes I am wearing. I was expecting this as I had taken the 2 day “past life regression” course a couple weeks prior, but what I saw freaked me out a little. Not only because it was so weird but because I was going to have to explain it to this woman who, I was afraid, would probably think I’m crazy.
We all know that we Starseeds take weird to a whole new level. So I just say it, “They are hooves like a goat” She seems unfazed, although my eyes are closed so I couldn’t be certain. I realize that this body, I am both seeing and feeling is like a mix of a human, a goat or ox, and a head of a lion or tiger.
There is so much pain “it is hard to stand” I tell her. This pain is of embarrassment and self disgust of what I am. I am some kind of genetic hybrid but it is very extreme like some kind of sick experiment or someone not knowing what they are doing created this body through genetic manipulation. I am aware there are others like me in this lifetime, but my case is more extreme at least from my point of view as this being.
Those around me in this life are caring and compassionate; there is an understanding and healing going on with beings like myself during this time. I remember reading about this in Edgar Casey’s On Atlantis book many years prior, but never thought I was one of them I even say this to the woman during the session.
There is also tremendous anger in this life at those who have done this to me. Anger at the controllers, those men (?) that have abused their power. This anger at those who manipulate others is the main theme of all the lives that will be shown to me during this session.
I have to acknowledge the possibility that perhaps this was all just an elaborate astral movie. Something used to manipulate me to have compassion for and forgive those who abuse others, which worked to a certain extent, but I feel it was more about releasing the rage I have carried for countless lifetimes. This rage will not serve me in this one. A little anger is fine but rage is a whole other animal. Ultimately, I can forgive and understand, but that doesn’t mean I am going to ignore what is being done here on this planet.
At the end of this hybrid life, I am shown the beauty and magnificence I truly was, but due to my own negatively perceived state I couldn’t or wouldn’t see it until passing. I could really feel how after one dies there is so much more of an expanded perception allowing release and the ability to heal very quickly. It is like pulling away from something so intensely focused on that there is this feeling of, “Wow. I really got caught up in that. The bigger picture is clearer.This realization of clarity at passing gives me comfort when I see so many people around me having difficulty.
In telling this story I also wonder if any of this could be related to what has been called the false umbilicus structure which is designed to keep souls trapped on this planet, but that is largely and intellectual awareness for me. I have not directly been shown (experienced) anything around that information.
On a side note, I will add that I experienced something similar called a false white light during my early years of meditation. This was a white light and a deep feeling of joy one could attain through prolonged meditation. The problem was this source of joy was largely outside of me. I did not realize this at the time, but information came to me which allowed me to see its true nature and move beyond that level. This letting go was bitter sweet. It was like having a drug you really like, but getting to the point where the full realization hits that it must be given up to be healthy and whole. After letting go, even higher levels are possible. To me, this false white light felt really good and energizing, but was actually almost like a hypnotic astral bliss state of euphoria. When I moved beyond that level I could then feel how vampiric that felt and how it was designed to calm and lull people into this almost spiritual zombie state. I am sure many of you know what I am talking about with this. It is often seen with people who meditate a lot and are all about love and light, but freak out or refuse to acknowledge anything of a darker nature.
Getting back to the session…The next life I am shown is of me as a young boy playing in ancient Greece. I am not sure of the time period or simply do not recall it now. It was probably around 300 bc or so just to give you a feel of the way of life then. It was when the world was still filled with magic and mystery or at least from my perspective as a young boy. The beauty of the area is unbelievable. It calls to me even to this day. I dream of going there someday to walk in the woods and swim in the Mediterranean.
So in this Greek lifetime, I see myself playing on a hill overlooking the Mediterranean and the village I live in below. When I return home I am hit with tremendous guilt for I live in what seems to be this great palace. I am ashamed to see so many people in the village and specifically the market just outside the palace walls suffering. They are all working so hard, but many are hungry and sick.
I get beyond the walls where everything is clean and there is so much abundance. The palace is huge with marble and all this luxury. I do not see much more of this life, but I deeply felt at death and was shown that during this whole life I felt guilty for what I had. I never fully enjoyed that wonderful life because of it. It was a feeling of how could I be happy when so many are suffering. The awareness of this past life helped me relate to a component of what some people must feel who have extreme amounts of money.
There is another aspect to the guilt of having material abundance. I didn’t feel this specifically with this life in Greece but I got the impression that this tremendous guilt can create disgust and detachment from people in poverty. It is a coping mechanism allowing a person to deal with their situation albeit in a very unhealthy way. This is definitely an opening for negative entities and thoughts to run rampant. It is like arrogance is created from fear or inability to try and change the situation. So there is an embracing of the whole belief system of less than better than that is easily seen all around us. (There was a lifetime I experienced in dream state that showed how I lived this way in Spain a couple hundred years ago. My nose in the air and rude to everyone that made me uncomfortable)
I know from people I have personally met that there is a lot of pressure to keep things the way they are no matter what time period we find ourselves in. It is my hope that the space will be created for the brave and compassionate with the financial means to come forward and change this, to risk the ridicule and threats in order to assist those who need a real work situation where reciprocity and respect is the norm. Not to merely give wealth away but to actively create situations that will create wealth and prosperity for all parties involved. This is not socialism or a handout this is co creation without the mental disease of extreme lack identified as greed.
It is an externalized inner lack that creates hunter type systems that kill the cow for the milk rather than having patience and growing. I feel capitalism can still work if corruption and manipulation are taken out of the equation or at least lessened.
This lifetime in Greece was showing me how to more easily appreciate what I have without feeling guilty knowing that this benefits no one. Guilt is said to be the biggest hindrance to spiritual advancement which I am inclined to agree with.
The next lifetime I see I am wearing boots. I am in what feels like France during WW1. This is during the brutal and bloody trench warfare. Where hundreds of men died fighting to win a field that would often be abandoned the next day. This was the last time I was in the military not counting ROTC (different lifetime as well but I am not so sure about this one since it was told to me by a psychic).
I feel that I have had many many lives fighting in battles throughout history and this was the pinnacle one where I finally realized that I was fighting and killing for nothing. This is when I saw the truth of what I was perpetuating through my actions. I was killing my own brothers. I felt such betrayal and sadness at this. I don’t know if I died in that pivotal moment of realization which was shown to me as lying on my back in the mud looking up at the sky, but it felt like I died inside for the rest of that life however long it was.
I understand that there is much distortion involved in the whole past life regression thing but my experience was one of empowerment and seeing themes that would and have benefited me by acknowledging them in this lifetime. It helped me to understand how people get locked into certain realities and how to forgive those who through their ignorance perpetuate pain and suffering on this planet.
I truly feel the hybrid life was a reality but it occurred long ago or perhaps in the future since time is simply a construct and so anything is possible. This lifetime may also have been shown as an archetype of one who lived by animal instincts but either way whatever is “true” it doesn’t really matter as it has helped to empower and broaden my perception.
Even whether or not any of these lives were real or me viewing a collective unconscious pattern it still changed how I interact with the world and gave me the deep feeling aspect of accepting others or at the very least an understanding. It also gave me the inner knowing from experience of what lies beyond death for I felt those between life moments and how much clarity and expansion was possible, how clearly things became as if flying high above something that could only partly be seen before. Hopefully, people who read this will get that and not focus on how fantastical it all might seem.
I try not to over identify with these lifetimes or even archetypes like the warrior or the adventurer. I have to be willing to let go of terms like Polarity integrator, Templator, Gridworker, Healer, Indigo 3 contract holder and of course Starseed that I really resonate with and feel to be true for me.
To become locked/fixated into any label or reality no matter how empowering it feels is to be trapped. I believe we all play these roles to a certain extent whether we are aware of it at the time or not. We are always moving forward and evolving in our consciousness. When something is labeled it can become restricted and growth cannot take place. I welcome all aspects of self and release the need to identify though I do embrace that which empowers me in the moment. Often this is the warrior.
There was one other lifetime I was shown at the end of this session which was more of a possible outcome of this current life I am in. The reward was that I was back in Greece on a ship in the Mediterranean surrounded by those I love. It was a feeling of completion and what I could attain if I could let go of my hatred for those who abuse their power. Those controllers who I myself have been in other lifetimes until I found my way back. Forgiving them knowing that my rage and resentment would turn me into the very thing I despise.
My heroic probability in this current life is also contingent on controlling instinctual desires and impulses. Knowing, that I may be an animal, but I do not have to act like one. To overcome all the fear that holds me back from being who I truly am and speaking my truth when called to do so.
I share this with you all as it has had a profound effect on who I am today and how I view the world. This was an experience that might have been 5d type manipulation, but I doubt it. I highly value what I have gained from it. I felt such powerful emotion and wisdom beyond what I could possibly hope to explain here with words. The between lives parts were a clear inner knowing that wasn’t seen while in the body, like what happens when we are free from, what to me feels like, the oppressive 3d ego/mind distortions or the parasites in that structure. It is amazing how so much of the negative self-talk and limited perspective judgments fall away during death of the body.
For me, the key aspect in being balanced with this experience is that I don’t take it as an absolute truth. It was very powerful and I highly value these experiential perspectives being added to my belief system, but I am willing to let it all go. By letting go I can be flexible so as not to break when I should bend. I do not need to fight to defend this information or try to prove the truth of it. It is my truth.
May you always know your truth,