A curious thing has been happening to me lately. I will be reading a text book with some very intense information based on specific techniques and belief systems I really don’t agree with, I start getting really tired, and then begin to drift into that place between being awake and asleep. I recognize it as a powerful meditative state to work from while doing grid work or healing, but because I am going into this state focused on some very mental based concepts with very little soul or spiritual context to them I start to really feel into it more than intended. At this point if I do fall asleep I go into almost a nightmare of trying to figure something out in a mental looping pattern or if I stay awake I catch a glimpse of the harm certain approaches are causing when they ignore key components of healing a person on all levels.

A little back ground is probably in order. I find myself going to college at age 39 studying psychology, something I thought I would enjoy and I do except for the emphases on what seems like mechanistic and reductionist type approaches. I try to stay neutral about this lack of deeper understanding as much as possible but I find it very difficult. It seems even the humanistic and phenomenalistic approaches are being presented either without the deeper understanding or simply from a mental approach. (very little mention if any about transpersonal psychology)

Academia is a very mental environment so it probably wouldn’t surprise too many that I am experiencing a lack of heart connection to it. In fact I had a number of people wonder why I was going into this system. Those who questioned my current path are a few of the many people I know who have been spiritually initiated, finding intelligence and understanding beyond linear mental thought. They have cultivated the ability to experience and trust a deep inner knowing. It takes a great deal of work to reclaim these things I feel we are born with and know as children then slowly lose for various reasons. I see how the school system is responsible for a lot of that being lost.

I do not disagree that the scientific method is important but when it becomes a religion which deviates from its true tenets by ignoring variables and minimizing important factors that have yet to be quantified it is detrimental to the human soul and spirit. It disconnects us from everything we are and creates headless beings, which is ironic for these people often live in their head.

I saw this while starting to drift into sleep state the other day while reading about desensitization and exposure therapy. I feel these cognitive-behavioral techniques do help people and they are great, but when they are carried out without addressing the deeper cause of these fears and phobias from a multidimensional level of understanding it further disconnects a person.

I saw people utilizing these techniques as having no head. I also get this was a soul disconnection. It doesn’t mean they will stay like this because I feel we have a lot of help to snap us out of that, but that these techniques and their singular focus was facilitating this effect much faster than would normally be experienced. Again it is a matter of balance.

Cognitive behavioral techniques are great but the soul (emotions/deep feeling) and the spirit (higher self/monad) need to be included. I have learned I can’t use my mind to overpower everything, at least not for very long. Deeper feeling and intuitive thought is needed even though it does not seem rational and requires faith. These subtle intelligences can be empirically tested based on outcome. This is rarely possible when needing to prove it to someone else. It is self-evident to the individual and represents their inner truth and knowing.

It often seems weird for me to have put so much work into activating these gifts and abilities we all have to see and feel what is beyond the surface of this world then to go dive into a very dense mental based system. I have had great difficulty with it for it is hard to unlearn what you know to be true, what I have experienced numerous times as a reality. I do not doubt these past experiences for I doubted them previously for much of my life (actually told to doubt them). I now see clearly where that doubt came from and how easy it is to creep back in when I am surrounded by those who have chosen to live in their heads. Many believe this is what we are, simply thinking beings.

Soon people will realize that the techniques being used will not have the lasting results expected. This will necessitate a deep inner search for meaning behind the fears and phobias. Through this search that part of self will be found that was forgotten. The aspect of self that has been traumatized needs to be reclaimed and healed in order to find lasting positive effects from behavioral-cognitive techniques. Without this awareness I see the techniques as further traumatizing that wounded part of self.

This awareness and reclaiming parts of self can be done through meditation and intention. For me it happens when I can calm my linear mind and be receptive to what comes to me in that state after setting a specific intention for that meditation. Sometimes it comes right away, other times it takes like 30 minutes to get there, and still other times I get nothing and have to try again later. I have done this on my own and been assisted by other healers. When the timing is right it happens but it cannot be forced by my ego desire or linear mind.

It is about going back to points in time when I was overwhelmed and left a part of myself there from all the tension. I can communicate with that part and heal it with the current perspective and awareness of why that happened. If not knowing the “why” I can still work to find peace with that experience and hear what that part of myself wishes to express. This is possible with other lives as well.

So even though it is difficult for me to be studying techniques that are trying to overpower or ignore what I feel is needed for deep healing, I do find much of the information I am learning helpful. It just isn’t complete no matter how much evidence based research suggests it is.

I know I am not the only one going into these education systems to witness what is happening and I do see energetic/spiritual knowledge slowly working its way into the field of psychology. I know deep down it is only a matter of time until a more conscious, holistic understanding is established.

May you know all parts of self,

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