Drive

I remember waking in the morning and being excited about the coming day, thrilled at all the potentials and possibilities that life had in store for me. Those days when the sun was out and the birds were chirping with the cool morning air touching my skin causing a feeling of electricity, a tingling sensation that filled my whole body. Along with the euphoric smell of drew drying in the early morning sun.

I would set out on my great adventure, facing a day that I knew would bring me excitement and joy. I felt alive and energized knowing I would find Love, laughter, and friendship with all I met. I had no worries or at least that is what I felt in that moment. I was fully present and living life to the fullest by simply being alive and participating with the world. I wasn’t obsessing over how my day would go, what happened the day before or worried that I was not planning my life out enough to be successful.

I am driving down the road in my first car a 86 Toyota 4×4 truck, a machine that represented freedom and escape from all the cares in the world but yet strangely feeling more a part of it at the same time. I have my self-contained space with freedom to roam. Playing music and feeling my heart dance with delight in being free. I am on my way to work or school or a destination I don’t really need to go but it is the drive I am participating with. My body and mind are at peace being occupied driving the car so that my consciousness can be free to feel and experience all the beauty and sensations around me. If some of these sensations don’t feel good I just drive away from that area.
One of my greatest joys in this world is to be able to drive, to have my own space that I control which allows me to explore and seek adventure in. To be free to sing out loud and dance, acting a fool and if anyone should see me I can leave them behind if I choose. I am free to yell if I need to without worrying that it will upset someone or cause alarm. Sometimes we need to let out a primal scream to release that pent up animal side of ourselves or at least I do.

I have been without this pleasure for a while now, sure I have cars to drive where I am living which I am very grateful for but they are not mine and not the kind that get my adrenaline going which is also a big craving I have. I have never owned an automatic before, I need a stick shift. It is just more fun.

I have let go of a lot of things to be able to go to college without working a full time job but my own car has proven to be one of the hardest. Every Starseed needs their space ship or chamber of solace that fits their inner desires of self. Perhaps for some it is different but one of my greatest joys has always been the freedom of the open road and the extension of self that an automobile provides.

May you always have a place of solace,

Jason

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