I was visiting a family member one summer that was living on a boat. Because it was only a 45 footer there were limited sleeping arrangements, but I was happy to accept the offer to stay there a couple of nights. The bedroom we were to share was actually pretty spacious with two single beds side by side with a three foot wide walkway between them.
I was aware from other conversations that my host had been having sleep apnea type symptoms of difficulty breathing and waking up in the middle of the night but I didn’t understand how extremely relevant this information would later prove to be. By my second night on this boat I would never forget that piece of information.
The first night I slept great, really enjoying the gentle rocking of the boat and the quiet sound of water sloshing around. I was awakened in the middle of this peaceful sleep with a feeling that I was being watched. I was half in and out of sleep when I saw something that looked like a dark cloud or fuzzy black energy standing about 3 feet tall between the two beds.
My host was deep asleep in their bed. The longer I looked at this thing the more I realized there was actually something there, not in a solid 3d physical sense that one could touch it but more of an etheric type manifestation of something with a consciousness.
I was used to seeing things like this from time to time but usually they disappeared pretty quickly, especially when I would focus my eyes directly on them. This one was just standing there while I looked at it; at this point I was fully awake but relaxed. I could feel what it was “thinking” basically that it was curious who I was and what I was doing there.I didn’t sense any danger and since I was used to stuff like this I just decided to ignore it and go back to sleep.
The next day I told my host (who is also very aware of this type of phenomena but rarely talks about it) what had happened. They responded by saying, “Oh, You saw that?”.
Apparently, they are aware of this and told me it started showing up at a time when they were having doubts as to whether or not God existed. As you could imagine I had a number of questions and a very interesting conversation ensued.
The second night things would prove even more eventful. I awoke, this time to the sound of choking and labored breathing, something I did not hear at all the night before. I looked over to the other bed and there I see that same fuzzy shadow sitting on my loved one’s chest choking them. I got angry and I am not sure if I said this out loud or in my head but I told it to get off of them.
Now, this thing didn’t have much of a form but I got the distinct impression that it turned its head to look at me. I started to get a little nervous as I could feel its intention. As it floated towards me I lost it and went into fear. (I had very little experience with claiming my space and clearing this stuff at this point in my life) I think I just rolled over and pulled the covers over my head. This tactic, as you could imagine, did nothing to evade this thing.
I felt it come over me and a sensation of something entering into the back of my head at around the medulla area. It was in my mind, flooding me with negative thoughts and intensifying my fear. It was attacking me and feeding off of me by manipulating my emotional responses. The thoughts were not my own. I could tell this very clearly. For some reason I decided to use a phrase that someone had mentioned works in this situation even though I was not a big fan of it but I was desperate and said “Devil get behind me” in my mind.Well, I don’t know if that pissed it off more or strengthened it but it definitely didn’t work.
Now things were really getting intense and the fear was overwhelming then all of a sudden I remembered the Ana Bekoach, a Kabbalistic prayer for basically opening a portal of light (“I am God, I am sovereign, I am free”-Lisa Renee; works well too). I recited as much of it as I could remember in that moment. It worked and I could feel the thoughts subsiding and the energy of the shadow being moving away from me.
I had experienced my first tool in how to clear and command my personal space. I also learned how these etheric type energies, that few can see or perhaps they have ignored them for so long they are unable to, can get into a person’s mind and flood it with negativity and disruptive images.
I share this for others that have experienced these things and to bring awareness to the fact that this is a real phenomena but there is no need to fear them in fact that is their only power, negativity and fear. There are many tools and techniques to be free of these things and clear them if they show up. Many who know this will not talk of it because it can feed the phenomena but this is happening anyway. Empowered awareness is the intention of my sharing this memory as it has empowered me to know these things so as not to be over identified with thoughts in my head.
As a side, my family member told me months later that they finally got rid of what was tormenting them but that it had gotten really big before doing so. This fuzzy energy was most likely something they themselves created or attracted to them from extreme ruminating and probably a lot of fear.
They said they simply told it to go away. Today they are much happier and have a more positive outlook on life in general, so I am pretty sure and can sense that they are no longer so tormented.
May you always feel your blessings,